'Twas the week before Christer and me, Donnie Lee Went with momma to WalMart, to get pictures of me I got some new glasses, the 'duck' featherweight kind And we sipped on cappchino, while waitin' in line. My momma Doreen, she's done got a new style At Miss Dolly's Hair Heaven, 'cuzz it'd been quite awhile She was gettin' a perm, when it started to kink So Miss Dolly hid the back part, with a BIG ribbon of pink. My brother DelRoy, he's still sittin' in jail Doesn't eat a whole lot, that's why he's so frail He says jail cookin' keeps him nice and so trim And the muscles he sports? Works out at the gym. My granny D'Roselee is still a smokin' and bakin' But lately she's complained that her back's a been achin' So the family decided we'd all chip in and buy A back brace and cane from that flea market guy. My daddy Dexter's still in Arkansas Penn He'll get a visit from us, like the other prison men We'll bring him clean unders, some smokes, and Moon Pies And a book from the store called, "A Prisoner's Guide." We'll take along a poster-size print of his truck "Carwash Jinkins" did a good job, got it all dolled up Daddy will be grateful and he'll know who to thank 'Cuzz those men who done stole it, once robbed the town bank. Now little D'Twyluh – she's just so suuuuuweet Is a hopin' that Santy Claws will bring her some teeth She's now in 4th grade and the ones that she's missin' Are the ones she wants back, so she'll stop all that hissin.' Delvis Dee is still plannin' to become a physician He studies real hard and a he keeps on a wishin' That one day he'll make it to doctorin' school With his toy "Doctor's Kit," he's got all the right tools. Half-brother JimBob and Sharleen Poteet Still raise all those possum that are always in heat They got several hundred in a "lean-to" wood shed JimBob skinned a few once to make a hat for his head. My sister DeeLeen with her "Big 14" brood Says this Christer she ain't in a very good mood New husband Dewley done spent Section 8 dollars So life ain't so good down in Tuttweilers Holler. Cousins Jethro "Polecat" is now smellin' lots cleaner He also lost weight and is lookin' much leaner At nights he still plays in a rock 'n roll band But Saturdays 'n Sundays he's at the tomater stand. And Lawrence Winklemeister, this kid from my past Will get a new tombstone and this one should last It's made of fine marble from an Eyetalian quarry And not out of plastic. Now his momma won't worry. Remember those twins we use to throw things at? They went on some diet, now they ain't quite as fat They's now into high school and doin' real swell Why the girl she's a datin' some trucker named Dell. Of course we cannot forget 'ol Jake Scumm He's still riding' cycles and chewin' Skoal Gum After so many crashes, his speech ain't too good But he wears his blue helmet, like a boy in the hood. Last but not least is Big Uncle Marky He likes to wear minis when he goes to a party Cross dressin' to him is such a great gag The best part on him? A butt that don't sag. Merry Crister, Everbody!! M.Clary December 1, 2001
Archive for March, 2006
A Trailerpark Christer Story
Saturday, March 25th, 2006The Wedding of Roger and Dr. Jane
Saturday, March 25th, 2006Roger Shellenberger asked me to help him write something serious to say at his wedding day ceremony. Of course, I had to also come up with a few humorous words as well. This day is very special And I want you to believe Just how much I love you, Jane As youre Gods gift to me I had long been searching For someone I could love Then I asked God to intercede Prayer answered from above He brought to me my soul mate Yes you, my dearest one He so carefully weaved us But His work was not quite done He presented us opportunity To know each other well And when I did propose to you Any doubts had been dispelled So as we are brought together And become one with these vows Let us thank Our God this day For the joy that we feel now! ——- From The Humorous Side… Now that wur married n yer ma new wyfe I shor can say this now: Glad yer inn ma life! It twus luv at furst site I noed frum tha start That yew wus sew speshull Cuzz yer uh surgin ov hart! Yew can call me Rog Baby n Ill just say Hay Jane We must dew it this hear way Kuzz our last names tha same!! Yer friend, Gomer Glunk M. Clary August, 2002
A Prayer For Those Who Doubt
Saturday, March 25th, 2006I pray today and always That Our DEAR LORD bring to you A measure of HIS comforting love To only strengthen you You may not understand it now But HE knows what HEs about Continue just to trust in HIM Without any human doubt Yes, HE feels your anxieties And knows you may be frightened But HE has sent you angels So your burdens will be lightened Our DEAR LORD, HE does recognize All the good that's in your heart Believe in HIM each and every day And you'll never be apart HE loves you oh so very much And knows your sweet devotion HE will take good care of you And do so with strong emotion M.Clary November 12, 2002
An Ode To ‘Ol Bob From North Carolina
Saturday, March 25th, 2006The rumor mill dun told me…yew was goin' on vacayshuh I can see yer all x-cited…and filled with such elayshun For me? I won't be jellus…or feel hardly any gloom Cuzz while yew ain't around here…I'll have alot more room I noed yew is a goin'…with a buncha good 'ol buddies Sum I heer are "boozers"…and uthers "fuddie-duddies" But I want yew to reemember…that "Boats 'n Booze" don't mix So I'm sendin' somethin' with yew…if yew get in to a fix I was at a Sidewalk Sale…in a WalMart parkin'lot A pear of them cot my eye…and just had to be bot Uhv corse they R a name brand…one yew'd know quite well And they R in purrfict shape…plus I got 'em both on sail When yew board that thar wadder craft…wear these littul swimmies Keep 'em on specially when…yew try to dreenk and shimmy If by sum strange misshap…y'all fall off that big 'ol barge Yer buddies won't say to yer kin…"guess 'ol Bob is still at large" M.Clary June, 2001
Jazz For Everyone
Saturday, March 25th, 2006The sound of Jazz can be red hot or cool To dance to its beat, quite aerobic But view this word in a different light And not in the form of jazz music In the workplace, Jazz is a "Challenge" Yet provokes great ideas and thoughts Jazz can help us "Collaborate" And not dwell on old battles fought Jazz can be "Fun" and "Exciting" And energize us to work hard and true Jazz can be "Satisfying" and "Rewarding" When achievements are more than a few Jazz is what we should strive for To be "Happy" when we've reached a goal "Knowing" that we've "added value" Not as one, but the team as a whole So let us get Jazzed and be upbeat Seize this moment of opportunity Take what we've learned – declare a position And stand for a new possibility !! M. Clary April 15, 2002
TTS Is Rockin’
Saturday, March 25th, 2006[to the country tune: "Charlotte Johnson..And She Was Swingin'"] What can track your time…better than the rest? It's an in-house system…and the name is TTS The application's user-friendly…and you should give it a try Once you begin to use it…you will understand just why You see it's Rockin'…(oh yes, it's Rockin') TTS Is Rockin'…(oh yes, it's Rockin') There are other systems…that you may have tried But TTS is proof positive…so put the others all aside Many of us use now…this product called SAP And soon we may just roll out…Evolve for time tracking But neither tool can hold…a candle to TTS It's by far the greatest…yes, better than the rest Because it's Rockin'…(oh yes, it's Rockin' TTS is Rockin'…(oh yes, it's Rockin') There are other systems…that you may have tried But TTS is proof positive…so put the others all aside Execs want utilization…'n financial capability Yet those other systems…cannot meet the corporate need All the applications codes…were written by "OUR" geeks Just ask leaders using TTS…what they can download every week You see it's Rockin'…(oh yes, it's Rockin') You bet it's Rockin'…(oh yes, it's Rockin') There are other systems…that you may have tried But TTS is proof positive…so put the others all aside OHHHHH… There will be other systems…that EDS may try Still, TTS is working GREAT…and MUCH MORE it can provide!!! M. Clary May 8, 2002
Jazz Stand
Saturday, March 25th, 2006(To The Tune of: "American Bandstand") We're all excited…'n gettin' into the groove You're all invited…we hope you'll get in the mood So take a chance now…'n see what you can do Take the "Jazz Stand"…"Jazz Stand" Oh you may wonder…just what it all means We're gonna tell you…within the grand scheme of things You'll make a difference…right there with your team Take the "Jazz Stand"…"Jazz Stand" Oh, all you've got to do – is collaborate bam, bam) Because You can, You can, You can – take a challenge – so don't wait Seize this – moment – of opportunity (bam, bam) Because We stand, We stand, We Stand – for possibility! You're dedicated…and you're workin' like heck To earn those greenbacks…oh that almighty paycheck Do you feel happy…or's work a pain in the neck? Take the "Jazz Stand"…"Jazz Stand" Is work rewarding…and are you satisfied? Do you add value…or just along for the ride? You should have fun now…'cause EIT's on your side Take the "Jazz Stand"…"Jazz Stand" Oh, all you've got to do – is collaborate (bam, bam) Because You can, You can, You can – take a challenge – so don't wait Seize this – moment – of opportunity (bam, bam) Because We stand, We stand, We Stand – for possibility! You may be thinking…that this jazz is so new Then use the techniques…we'll teach 'em to you Put them to practice…it's just what you should do Take the "Jazz Stand"…"Jazz Stand" Embrace a new change…and have future vision Don't get locked in…with background con-ver-sa-tion Lets everyone, now…make that con-tri-bu-tion Take the "Jazz Stand"…"Jazz Stand" Oh, all you've got to do is collaborate You can – take a – challenge – now don't wait Grab on, Grab on, Grab on – to POSSIBILI-TUNITY Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzz Standdddddddddddd !!!!! M.Clary May 20, 2002
Jeanie Kubiak’s 55th Birthday Song
Saturday, March 25th, 2006[sung to the Beatles tune: "When I'm 54"] She's just so helpful She's just so sweet Anytime you call (bump pa dum pa dum) Whenever you need her She is always there This dream, our Jeanie She really cares From TTS Orgs To Product Evolve Workforce Planning, oh she thrives Yes, we still need her Yes, we still love her Though she's 55 When our Ms. Jeanie's Given a task She checks out each detail (bump pa dum pa dum) And if there is a problem She figures it out So Sig, Jaye and Jean Won't have any doubt Maybe someday, when Evolve's "error free" Then we'll realize Yes, we did need her Yes, we did love her When she was 55 But today, we still need her And we still love her Though she's 55 !!!! M. Clary April 8, 2002
The Work Saga Of Anniel Winston-Hall
Saturday, March 25th, 2006It takes a special person, to really get involved And globalize, not compromise, this product called EVOLVE It takes true dedication, perseverance, and some "gab" The perfect type of leader, EDS should always have Her name is Anniel, Winston-Hall is her surname She's taking the initiative, all the way to global fame It matters not that there are quirks; sometimes it's just demand But her great team of professionals, are always close at hand Her leader, Charles Carter, has so very much to do So Goodpasture & Team Brekelmans, they keep things running smooth Iodice and Andrew, Angelo and McLean Thomas, Garneau, and "Pino" are still intact, it seems And when she's faced with problems, she always seeks resolve And calls upon the sub-committee, and gets them all involved They gather and they brainstorm; opinions fly with expertise And they come to some consensus, so that everyone agrees As Anniel moves forward, with workforce planning tasks She knows there will be questions, that always will be asked If she doesn't have the answer, she'll find out right away And will strive to reply back to you, by "Close of Business" day In closing, I would like to say: EVOLVE we should enjoy After all, this application, is keeping us all employed If I have left out someone's name, on this day and time Forgive me, it wasn't intentional. I just ran out of rhyme M. Clary March 20, 2002
Shake That Chickin’
Saturday, March 25th, 2006Shake the Chickin'… He is a mass of grey feathers… When he squawks, annoyance surrounds me… Love that chickin !! Marc =====================*************====================== Ohhhhhhhhh….. There Once Was A Frickin' Chickin' Whose Feathers Were All Gray Oh Marc, He Loved That Chickin' And There's So Much More To Say He Taught That Chickin' How To Talk And Ride A Radio-controlled Car He'd Bam The Car Into Furniture But Chickin' Held To The Spoiler Bar Once Momma Taught That Chickin' To Whistle Loudly And To Sing It Was Just So Very Lovely Until The Shrill Of A Piercing Sting Then Marc Would Take That Chickin' Out Of His Birdcage Space And That Quieted Frickin' Chickin' Cause Chickin' Picked Skin Off His Face Chickin' Liked To Fly Around And Sit Upon The Ledge But Marc Began To Realize That Was Chickin' Shit On His Head But Oh That Frickin' Chickin' Is Still Alive Today He's Been With Marc For 20+ Years Neener's Gift To Marc On His B-day!! Thanks A Heep, Neener!! M. Clary