Author Archive

Happy Birthday To Lynne Adams

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

To one who loves her Nitty Nats

Good wishes come today

Let’s paws and just wait un-tail

We all say what we want to say

 

Mostly, that we love you lots

And hope you’re feline fine

We think you’re just the cat’s meow

And purr-fect all the time

 

So celebrate another year

Enjoy your special day Who knows?

One day a tom might come

And whisker you away!

 

Your pal,

M. Schroeder

February, 1993

Curriculum Is One Of My Favorite Things

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

[Tune: My Favorite Things]

NEW COURSE REQUEST FORMS

AND COURSE CHANGES ALSO

CONCURRENCE IS NEEDED FOR INSTRUCTIONAL COUNCIL

 FIFTEEN SETS ALL TIED UP WITH STRING

 CURRICULUM IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

 

TITLE 5 REQUIREMENTS NEEDED

NO COURSE OUTLINE ATTACHED

AND/OR INCOMPLETED

VERIFICATION, STANDARDS CRITERIA, I SAY:

I CANNOT PROCESS FOR SEVERAL DAYS

 

WHEN THE DEANS BARK

WHEN THE CHAIRS SCREAM

WHEN INSTRUCTORS CRY

I SIMPLY REMIND THEM THAT THEY MUST COMPLY

WITH 5300 AND TITLE 5 !!

 

M. SCHROEDER

 October 28, 1988

Leonora

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

LEONORA LIVES IN A TOWN UP NORTH

SHE’S CUTE AND QUITE PETITE

SHE PLAYS PIANO AND DANCES GREAT

AND SINGS RIGHT TO THE BEAT

 

WITH HER MAN, HARRY, WHO’S SUCH A CHARM

THEY OFTEN “DO-THE-TOWN”

HE TAKES HER TO KARAOKE CLUBS

SO SHE REALLY GETS AROUND

 

THE MUSIC STARTS AND SHE BEGINS

TO SING, WITH HER FACE AGLOW

“LA BAMBA” PLAYS AND SHE BECOMES

TEMUCULA’S WILD WEST SHOW

 

WHEN THE NIGHT DRAWS TO A CLOSE

AND HER VOICE BEGINS TO MELLOW

THE WINE IS GONE; HER MIND’S A BLUR

BUT SHE GOES HOME WITH THE RIGHT FELLOW

 

M. Schroeder

 August 3, 1992

A Limerick For Don and Diane Thornton

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

THERE IS SOMETHING I CANNOT RESIST

TO WRITE ABOUT THIS LOAD ON DI’s WRIST

IT STRIKES ME QUITE FUNNY

KNOWING THAT WITH VERY LITTLE MONEY

400 BANANAS BOUGHT JUST COULDN’T BE MISSED

 

OF COURSE WITH DON’S CLEVER EYE

NEVER WILL A GOOD DEAL GO BY

ADS AND COUPONS HE’LL USE

MARKET CASHIERS IN AWE, BUT AMUSED

A WEEK’S GROCERIES, FOR A BUCK NINETY-FIVE?

 

AND SO AS LIFE GOES ON

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A DI AND A DON

WHETHER IT’S BANANAS OR JELLO

SHE’S A GREAT GAL; HE A FRUGAL FELLOW

SHALL I GO ON AND ON AND ON??

 

M. Schroeder

 August 1, 1991

Puce Abuse – A Limerick

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

(Dedicated To Tanya Ness)

THERE ONCE WAS A CUTE GAL NAMED BRAT

WHO WAS JUST LIKE HER MOM AND NOT FAT

BUT SHE SLIPPED UP ONE DAY

PUCE-DYED HER HAIR WHILE MOM WAS AWAY

AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THE END OF THAT

 

BUT OF COURSE MUCH TO HER OWN SURPRISE

MOM SAID, “THAT REALLY WASN’T SO WISE.”

SO THEY FUSSED AND THEY FOUGHT

‘TIL MOM WAS SO DISTRAUGHT

SO AT HOME BRAT MUST WEAR A DISGUISE

 

SO AS THE SAGA GOES ON

BRAT ‘N MOM WILL STILL GET ALONG

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ABUSE

AND THE COLOR OF PUCE

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A RIGHT AND A WRONG

 

M. Schroeder

June 26, 1991

Prunes

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

I THINK THAT I SHALL ALWAYS CRAVE

THOSE PRUNES WITH PITS THAT I SHALL SAVE

TO START A COLLECTION OF DIFFERENT SIZES

WITH SOME CONTAINING UNUSUAL SURPRISES

 

SURPRISES THAT MAY INCLUDE A WORM

ALL PETRIFIED IN GLORY….NO WAY TO SQUIRM

OR MIGHT I FIND SOMETHING RARE

THAT I COULD CHERISH AND POSSIBLY WEAR?

 

OH WELL, OH DEAR, OH PRUNES DON’T FEAR

YOUR LEGACY SPEAKS FROM THE REAR

NO MATTER WHAT THEY ALL MAY SAY

 I’LL STILL EAT MY PRUNES, EVERY DAY

 

M. Schroeder

January, 1990

How Moon Pies Gave Me You

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

(Tune: Moonglow)

IT MUST HAVE BEEN MOON PIES

THAT GAVE ME THE CLUE

IT MUST HAVE BEEN MOON PIES

THAT LED ME STRAIGHT TO YOU

 

THE GRAHAM-CRACKER COOKIES

SURROUND ALL THE WHITE

YUM, MARSHMALLOW FILLING

CHOCOLATE-COVERED DELIGHT

 

 I….CAN STILL REMEMBER WHERE

THAT HARDWARE STORE

OH, ANOTHER “RC AND MOON PIE” AFFAIR

 

AND NOW THAT THERE’S MOON PIES

ALL OVER THIS LAND

ONE HAS AN EXCUSE NOW

FOR VERY, STICKY HANDS

 

YOU….AND I WERE MEANT TO BE

PART OF THE GREAT, BIG

CHATTANOOGA MOON PIE FAMILY

 

MY SONG AND MY STORY’S

ABOUT TO CONCLUDE

BUT, I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER

THAT MOON PIES GAVE ME YOU

THAT MOON PIES GAVE ME YOU

THAT MOON PIES….GAVE…..ME…..YOU!

 

M. Clary

First Written, September, 1991

The Letter “T” Story

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

THE THIN, TATOOED TUTOR TOLD THE THIRTY-THREE TUTEES THAT THEIR TENDENCY TO TOLERATE TIGHT TANGERINE TUTUS THREATENED THEATRICAL THEORY.

THINKING THIS THROUGH, THE TEQUILA-TIPSY, TITILLATING TUTEES TOE-DANCED THEIR TEN TINY TOES TO TWANGY TRUMPET TUNES, TRYING TO TUNEUP THEIR TAP-DANCING TROUPE TRAVELING ‘TIL TWILIGHT TO TORONTO, TOMORROW (TUESDAY).

THEN, THURSDAY, THE TROUPE OF TUTEES TRAVEL TO TOLEDO, TULSA, TIPPECANOE, TIJUANA, THEN TO TIMBUKTU TO TAKE THE TUTOR’S TOUPEE TO TERRANCE THE TURBAN-WEARING, TRIPLE-TANNED, TUBA-TOTING, TROUBLE-MAKING TWIT TO TRY TIDYING THE TINTED, TYE-DYED, TRI-COLORED, TOUSLED TRESSES. 

THINKING THIS THROUGH, TERRANCE TOLD THE TRIO (TYLER, TROY, TRENT) TO TAKE THE TOUPEE TO TWO TWENTY-TWO TENNINGTON TERRACE TO TRY TRANSFORMING THE TRENDY TRIBAL TRESSES THROUGH TRAUMATIZATION!!

 

M. Schroeder

Late 1980’s

Ode To Corner Oaks – Orrville, Alabama

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

Well, I came to Alabama

Drove southwest to Orrville town

Stopped to eat at CORNER OAKS

The best restaurant around

 

A fine old mansion; I was impressed

So I stepped inside to see

Was greeted by the friendly folk

That southern hospitality

 

I ordered stir-fry vegetables

With shrimp scattered through and through

It was seasoned with a special spice

And I didn’t have a clue

 

So I asked the waitress, Ollie

But she would not spill the beans

For Chef Bill’s secret recipe

Could not be shared, it seems

 

I begged and pleaded on bended knee

So she went back to the kitchen

And very soon, Chef Bill appeared

Smiling, ’cause I had mentioned

 

That his cooking I so much enjoyed

And the magic from his pan

Would remain within my memory

I’d be his biggest fan

 

I suppose he took some pity

Upon this gal from way out west

He gave me the information

So I wouldn’t have to guess

 

M. Schroeder

April 26, 1991

Here We Are !!

Saturday, March 25th, 2006

[Tune: Jingle Bells ]

Here We Are — Here We Are

To Spend Some Time With You

One Plus Four — And Then one more

Aren’t We A Motley Crew? Oh!

 

Here We Are — Here We Are

We’ve Traveled Long And Far

From Californ To Memphis Town

We ventured In Our Car

 

CHORUS:

Driving In The Rain….It Surely Was A Pain

O’er Desert And The Plain….And Potholes In Our Lane

It Gave Us Such A Thrill….With Clary At The Wheel

Oh What Fun It Was Until He Made Us Very Ill

Ohhhhhhhhh!

 

Here We Are — Here We Are

To Spend Some Time With You

One Plus Four And Then one more

Aren’t We A Motley Crew? Oh!

 

Here We Are — Here We Are

Your Faces Show Elation

We Can See How Glad You Are

To Share CHRISTMAS VACATION.

 

M. Schroeder

December, 1991 (Memphis)