The Tale of ‘Ol Natural Howard

Come ‘round neer ‘n listen….thar’s a tale I’d like ta share ‘bout a man named ‘OL NATURAL HOWARD….who dun made us all uh ware Of bad thangs a happenin’….tew R Planit Earth Sew he intraduced the ‘The Naaaaaaatural Way’….’n all that it twus wurth Thar R thoz who tern thar heads….’n look tha uther whey Thell dun hire Chem-Kill….’n use airuh-sole bugg spray It dont seam ta madder….the mor chemculs thay breethe R deestroyin’ prechuss hewmin sells….yet thay juss dont beleev Back sum tyme, a lite wen off….insyde ‘OL NATURAL’S head “I juss caint be a sittin’….why the hole world cud end up dedd. I gotta figger outta whey….ta git folks ta uhgree.” Sew he hi-tailed it to Talk Radio….on W B A P Soon he started yackin’….evr week inta that mike Rote books and knews artickuls….went ‘TV public’ with his lyfe He dun got hisseff sum sponsurs….and a deddicated crew Muved 4word with a misshun….ta be atellin’ us whut ta dew Sum folks begun ta lissen….’n started callin’ inn With queschuns ‘bout sick trees ‘n shrubs….plus ‘lil booger frends ‘OL NATURAL’S got an anser….if somethun, it dont grow And he ain’t never been tew proud ta say….”I’ll find out, if I dont kno !!” Beecomin’ ahl orghaneek….it aint’ kno bran knew sigh-unce Its gittin’ back ta basicks….’n phormin’ a uh-ligh-unce Ta dispoze uv all tha toxick junk….sintheticks, carsin o’gins ‘N holler at thoz signtists….at gud ‘ol A & CheM” Now listun up ‘Orghaneephobes’….juss try sum Garrett Juice Bild yerseff a Hoo-Haw Heep….turn it…’n keep it loos Air rate yer Terra Firma….’n bild orghaneek chontent Purdy soon yew’ll sea the Flora…..’n wander whar tha weeds went And ta you, ‘Listners ‘O Nature’….yew kno whut causes harm Dont madder if yer a city slick….or growd up on uh farm Yew no ‘bout tham far ants….’n sneekee liddle weevuls ‘n dont fergit ‘squito sprayin’….tha bigger uv thoz evuls Sew, take tha tale fer whut its wurth….but phorce yerseff ta bee Vidgelant in writin’ EPA, FDA…..’n RISE in ‘ol DC Join ‘OL NATURAL’S Dirt Diggers….share his messige evrware If evr thars a Missin’ Link….’OL NATURAL…will bee thar!!! M.Clary April, 2004

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